Funniest Crime in Town

photo by my mom


Now that we are entering our fifth straight day of sunless skies and saturated soil, we deserve a laugh to brighten up our days. Fortunately, enough “crime” happens over at The George Washington University to keep laughs coming for days. Let’s take a look at the standouts from this week:

Someone threw a gummy bear at a campus police car at 1:36 am, and it hit someone inside. That is ridiculous. Can you imagine (1) calling the police because someone threw a gummy bear at you or (2) having a gummy bear-throwing incident recorded on your school record? I would have loved getting to explain that infraction in my law school application. And if someone threw a gummy bear at me, I’d open my mouth and say “thanks!”

click for blog post on BBQ chicken pizza


A second incident occurred at 2:21 am after someone asked a student for a slice of the pizza he was carrying into a dorm. When the pizza carrier said no, the pizza craver got angry, so the carrier called the police. That is also ridiculous. However, I know with absolute certainty that this pizza altercation is the least ridiculous incident to ever occur in that particular dorm. For a quick, non sex-related example, two separate people in two separate incidents each urinated in my dorm room (not in the bathroom or even close to it). For the record, I did not call the police.

You can see the complete crime log at the GW Hatchet. The fifth incident on the list comes in at a close third for humor.

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