Things Heard Through Apartment Walls

David and I are getting ready to move apartments, assuming our future landlord ever gets the place into a habitable condition. In recognition of my reminiscing on the time spent in this apartment, I thought I’d share two of the best things I’ve heard through the walls and ceiling that I still haven’t stopped laughing at.

The first one came on a Sunday morning. I’m a late and heavy sleeper, but my upstairs neighbors still managed to wake me up with their morning delight. After the squeaking stopped, I heard a toilet flush. And then a man yelled, “Bring the toilet paper in for clean up!” Welcome to a building inhabited by a substantial percentage of college students.

The second ridiculous thing I heard through my wall came from a wreck of a girl who lived next door to me. Once, in the middle of the night, she drunkenly banged on the doors in my hallway asking people to call the police on her boyfriend who wouldn’t leave her alone. The boyfriend, however, was all too happy to get out of there. Still, that wasn’t the end of their relationship. When I was sitting on my sofa in the heat of finals studying, I got completely distracted by the neighbor arguing on the phone with her man. I gathered that he was in his early 30s and serious about getting married. She made it clear she wasn’t interested by screaming, “I’M ONLY 25. I’M NOT READY TO GET MARRIED! I STILL WANT TO GO TO HAPPY HOUR!!” Welcome to Washington, DC.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever heard through a wall? Please share, I’m such a yenta.

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